If you desire the virtues which are within your power, there is no room for envy or aping others. Instead of wishing to be a general, a congressman, or a celebrity, desire to be free. And the way to be free is to let go of anything that is not within your control. ~ Epictetus
Where do desires come from? The desire for a new car, bigger house, more money. Mimetic desire is an idea from French philosopher René Girard, which is essentially the idea that we copy what we want from other people. In 2021 mimetic desire is being supercharged by platforms such as Instagram, and billions of dollars of advertising.
It is normal to want some level of material comfort, but we want to avoid a continuous need to upgrade our lifestyle to match some external standard.
For example, I currently use a beaten up iPhone 7 as my main phone. It does everything I could need it to do. Sometimes slowly. But that’s ok.
I could buy a new phone, but why? Because my friends have newer phones? This seems like a bad reason. Sometimes I see an advert for a new phone or a youtube unboxing video and I feel a strong desire to buy one. But when I think about whether this desire is well, desirable I realise that it isn’t and I try to just sit with it until it passes.
Then I think about how I would rather have the £800 than a fancy phone that will be out of date in 12 months.
Next time you want something think about where that desire is coming from. Is it an authentic desire to live in harmony with the type of person you want to be, or is it a manufactured desire born of envy or the desire to look a certain way?